Have you ever taken time to ponder on why marriages fail even after an expensive wedding budget? The priceless wedding/engagement ring that was bought, the "aseobis", the hundreds of guests that were invited, the booked event centre, the refreshment, the Live band or DJ, the probably rented SUVs and all... can't stop a marriage that is about to hit the rocks.
I stumbled on an interesting post which seemed to confirm my fear on this issue (see link at the end of this post). From this post, there seems to be a positive relationship between an expensive wedding and divorce. In other words the more expensive the wedding, the higher the divorce rate. Just as how people judge books from its cover, they equally seem to judge a marriage from the wedding celebration. So if the wedding is a ‘grand’ one, the marriage will be adjudged a success and vice-versa. However, we know better. It’s all over the news - flamboyant weddings not even lasting for 5 years.
I decided to carry out my own research on this to find out what the underlying reasons might be. Here are some of my findings.
1. Emphasis on the Value of the Ring and not Value of the marriage
A ring simply symbolizes eternal love and that one is married. But nowadays, the ring seems to be another form of jewellery, hence, the much emphasis of wearing something of ostentatious value rather than placing value on the marriage. There is that belief that spending much on a wedding ring will make both parties value the marriage rather than if the wedding ring were to be cheap. But if this were to be the case, then the richest couples should definitely be the happiest couples. So placing much emphasis on the ring definitely won’t guarantee a successful marriage.
2. Planning so much for just a DAY!
Inviting 500 hundred guests is not really a bad idea if you can afford it. However, just like placing emphasis on a wedding ring, intending couples seem to spend so much time and resources just to make the wedding a success but yet fail to put that same effort to make the marriage work. Even couples, who really can’t afford such a wedding, go all to out, even to borrow, just to make that day successful.
3. Getting married for the wrong reasons
I am over 30 years; therefore, I should get married. My mates are married; therefore… My friends now have kids; therefore… I now have the money; therefore… The list goes on and on. Even, if you qualify in terms of age, finance, or you have made up your mind to marry; are you marrying for ‘love’, ‘money’ or to fulfil righteousness? Understanding why you are getting married in the first place will help drive your commitment levels in your marriage.
4. Putting the Cart before the Horse
Simply put, when you place the least or not important things first before the more important things in your marriage, then your wedding is heading for Mount Rushmore. Assuming your house was on fire, will you rush to save your clothes or jewelries or will you try to save your life and probably the lives of your dependants? Adopting your answer to this question, into your marriage, is what will either make or mar your marriage. Recall that marriages do not really crash in one day - quite a number of days of ‘signs’ must have passed before the marriage finally fails.
Take out time to identify what is really important to you in marriage and strive to make it work – then you are sure of a happy marriage.
More money – Higher divorce rate link here (Source: Emory University)
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